2015 in Review

Well, the year is coming to a close and I really haven't done much on this blog. I feel somewhat ashamed of that, but I must press forward.

2015 began on a sour note for me, personally. Spiritually, I have found that I am taking baby steps, STILL. When will I finally have total discipline to my walk with Christ? I ask for guidance, His plan for my life, on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes I feel like He's there, and others not so much. I know that I have made mistakes this year; who hasn't. I'd like to think I have learned from some of them anyway.

So here I sit with 2016 looming around the corner and the only thing I can say is I'm thankful! Yes, I am thankful for the life I have. I have come a long way over the past 12 months in my mental health. Oh, I still have up's and down's. But I am learning to handle them a little better, S.L.O.W.L.Y. I spent much of the first couple of months hiding from the world. I would go to my appointments, work, church, etc. But basically I didn't want to be bothered.

During this time, I kept asking for God to show me what He wants from me. I wasn't sure if I would ever be truly happy again. I wasn't even sure if He wanted me to be with anyone. After the way 2014 ended and 2015 began, I wasn't even sure if I wanted anyone either. So I stuck to my guns and kept my nose in the Good Book not really looking for answers. Simply reading. Reading things that X pointed out to me. Reading bits that went a little deeper into the week's message from church. Sometimes even just opening and reading whatever page appeared. Not really a reading plan, but a start.

That started to change as summer crept closer.

My job sent me to Denver, once again, for the final class I needed. It was great to be away for a few days. After my return, I turned around and went on vacation for almost 2 weeks!! I needed that getaway. While on this vacation, I visited family in Alabama and Michigan and then found myself going to the East Coast (Let's just say that sour note turned sweet again and while we have obstacles to jump over we are looking toward the future). I traveled through 17 states during an 11 day period. 3,328 miles of roadway, scenery, and adventure! I'll post pictures another time.

So what do I have to look forward to in 2016 you might ask? Well, I have God first and foremost. I have love. I have health. I have my jobs. I am planning to go back to Michigan in June to watch my niece graduate high school. I (we) am (are) also planning the biggest adventure of my life: relocating across country. More on that later.

My heart and soul seeks Jesus every single day.

God’s Timing

God’s timing is perfect. There are reasons He makes us wait. He is trying to prepare us for all He has in store for us.

God’s Timing VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Ok, so I am impatient in many ways. I am learning to find myself again after what can only be described as the best and not quite worst 5 months of my life. I had love, or so I thought, from a great guy. At first he treated me well. Took care of our home. Prepared meals for me; including my lunches for work. No, he didn’t have a job outside the home. That was our arrangement since he needed to acclimate to the weather and I made enough to support us. I am not saying he couldn’t get a job if he wanted one. He just didn’t seem to want one; until that one offer came along. I won’t go into details.

I really love this man and thought he was the one God intended for me. I was wrong! I do believe God brought him into my life for a reason. Quite possibly to help me get out of the rut I was in since my dad passed away in 2012. I just know that my feelings are genuine and it’s been a difficult couple of weeks since he left but God does have a plan for me and my life. He has someone chosen just for me. His plan was formed before I even existed. I just have to wait on His timing!

I found this image while looking for others on God’s Timing and thought it perfect to end this post:

(Too bad we can’t use this on Facebook!)

New Laptop

I just want to start by saying I hate Windows 8 and have a strong dislike for Microsoft Office 365 right now.

I am back in the world of Windows OS. I am excited to get back to using Windows Live Writer for my blogging. I have missed that application so much. Right now, however, I am using the Blogger platform to write this post as I can't get my log-in correct (even after changing my password) on Live Writer to connect it to this blog. Grrr!

Additionally, I keep thinking about all of the things I need to do around the house so that I can get back into my stitching. I have missed doing that as well. Unfortunately, the ex BF (recent development) packed away all of my hoops somewhere. This means I have to go through boxes in the front bedroom to find them. Oh well! Weekend project!!

So, as you may have figured out, I have gone through a break-up recently. No, I am not looking for sympathy or "I'm sorry" from anyone. Just stating facts. His loss! He chose to leave. As for me, I went to my deep dark place last week. My faith in God is what has pulled me through and kept me strong enough. With that, I will leave you with a verse that kept coming to mind (as well as Facebook and opening up to the page it is on in my Bible):

Anger Danger

I recently read on a bank's sign the following sentiment:

"Anger is just one letter short of danger."

There is so much truth in this. Anger is "a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire" according to http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/anger. We all get angry at times. But what does the Bible say about anger? Well, I did a little digging and came up with some verses about anger that I want to share.

I especially like the one in Ephesians and try to live by that; not going to bed angry. You see, anger is not just a sin. It's unhealthy. But it IS a SIN!

I found this verse while searching the others and thought it a fitting way to end this post:

In our anger, we can oftentimes find ourselves in the midst of a dangerous situation. I encourage you that if you have issues with anger, please turn it over to our Heavenly Father. We can do all things through Him who gives us strength.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a difficult concept to grasp for many people. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, online, to forgive means:

: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)

: to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)

: to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)

I recently was reading in Matthew and came across a verse the spoke to me; 18:26

"At this the servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.'" (NIV)

To explain a little, when a family  member is in need and I am able to help, I will help them. One of my family members needed said help. This family member is going through some pretty rough times and while the debt was owed I tried to be patient. When I read this verse, the first thing the servant said is exactly what the family member said. I read on:

I felt a tugging at my heart and knew what I had to do. I had to release the debt. So I did.

I am not saying this to be a braggart or anything like that. I simply want to use my life as an example of how the Holy Spirit speaks to us in ways we can't even imagine. I was seeking answers to something I didn't even know I was seeking.

I have found, through the years, that it is easy for me to say "I forgive you" but my heart really wasn't in the spirit of forgiveness. I have held on to a lot of hurts and the forgiveness really didn't happen. If you find yourself harboring old hurts, release them. Lay them at the cross. When it comes to the day of judgment, what will God ask you about forgiveness?