YouTube and other rumblings

I have been spending more time on YouTube lately listening to and watching different faith-based programs. It was suggested that I check out Chuck Missler - anything and everything - as he is very well-versed on prophecy and end-time stuff. Hopefully it will help me understand Revelation as I attempt to read through it for the 4th time. It is probably the most difficult book in the entire Bible.

One thing that has been weighing heavy on me lately is that I wish I had spent more time studying the Bible growing up. Maybe I wouldn't feel so silly when bf and I speak about the Bible/Scripture and other things Christian. I love our conversations but he has so much more time invested and so much of the Book memorized that I sometimes feel stupid. I am not a new Believer by any means, but I am still in my "infancy" of learning.

I remember a couple of years ago planning to read the entire Bible and grow my relationship with God. That didn't work out so well. I fear I lack the discipline and need someone to hold me accountable. BF is very good at that and I appreciate his prodding even if it doesn't seem like it at times. I also have a mentor at church; one of the pastors took it upon herself to mentor me. Well, that hasn't been going too well either. The lack of discipline again.

As I close this post for the evening, I ask the Lord to:

Give me ears to hear

Eyes to see

and a Heart to understand.

~ Matthew 13:15